she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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