i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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