The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
