My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
