i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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