i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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