You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
