i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
