that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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