you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
