Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
