So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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