I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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