Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Even my vagina gasped.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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