wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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