Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
