You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
