fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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