how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize