I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
