great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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