i need an iv and a liver transplant
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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