You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
