shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
