This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
