i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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