I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
