When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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