Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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