tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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