I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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