didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
