I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
