I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
