We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
