I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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