Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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