I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
