so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
