im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
