Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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