i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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