I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize