Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
