to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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