Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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