I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
