if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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