Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
