So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
