oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
