I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
