is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Redeem this text for a blowjob
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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