you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
